I find that I am reading a lot during this time of social distancing, which is one of the things I’m grateful for. I have always loved reading and find that it allows me to escape current reality and live in beautiful, mysterious, or faraway places. Reading has always provided that level of escape for me, but in my adult world, I have often been “too busy” to read a good novel. There have been times that I’ve looked forward to a long flight so I could justify simply read a novel. How crazy is that? As I’ve reflected on the fun of being transported by a novel, I realize that most of us are probably looking for ways to escape our current reality, ways to feel more in control when so much of our current reality is completely outside of our control. This morning, as I was enjoying my current novel which happens to be Surfside Sisters by Nancy Thayer, I discovered a line in the story that says, “I think anger is often a kind of recycled fear.” That made me pause. I see this happening in our world today.
As we are adjusting to a new reality – even a temporary one – it is easy to let the feelings of fear take over and then lash out in anger. We often lash out at the people who are closest to us, the ones who love us unconditionally, because we intuitively feel safer with these people. We know that they will stick around, even if there is an ugly fight. So, how do we recognize when our anger is just recycled fear? And, how do we self-manage so we are not lashing out at the ones we love, or anyone, for that matter? The answer is self-care. We must take care of ourselves so that we are able and available to engage with our loved ones, friends, family members, colleagues, and neighbors in ways that are rooted in love and respect, and not in recycled fear.
Here are three simple and easy ideas for self-care:
Be kind to yourself. It’s okay to be scared and to feel out of control. Know that we all feel this way, and that we are all searching for the “right” thing to do. You are not alone, and you do not have to be a hero with all the answers. When you are feeling afraid, lean into it and know that the fear is real. If you give it a name and allow the feeling to exist in its authenticity, it won’t come out as recycled fear.Begin a meditation practice. Yes, you can meditate! Meditation can happen in many different forms. The process is to reconnect with yourself, the Earth and your Higher Power. You can find thousands of free guided meditations on YouTube. You can simply find a quiet place, relax and focus on your breathing – the inhale and the exhale. As other thoughts invade your mind, allow them to calmly flow away with each exhale. Just notice how each inhale brings new energy into your body and clears your mind. Practice mindfulness. Yes, you can do this, too! Take a mindful walk or hike. This can happen on a designated trail system in a park or in your backyard, or in a nearby city park. As you are putting one foot in front of the other, notice how each one of your senses is gathering information. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel? What can you touch? Are you tasting anything? Just taking the time to notice these things will bring you into the present moment and allow your mind to rest and rejuvenate. You can practice mindfulness when listening to music or cooking. There is no wrong way to be mindful; it simply means giving all of your attention to your current place, activity, and environment. So many times, we sit on an airplane and passively hear the flight attendants go over the safety speech….fasten your seatbelts….here are the exits…..and how to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others. Even though we feel like we know these instructions, there is a great lesson to be learned. If we don’t put on our oxygen masks first, we can pass out before we can help whoever is next to us, whether it’s our child, a friend, or a complete stranger. Right now, we need to make sure we are caring for ourselves, so we have enough energy and available emotional bandwidth to help others. These three tips for self-care are ways to put your oxygen mask on first!
I am a business owner, author, speaker, teacher, life & corporate coach, and Certified Shamanic Practitioner.
Angie Shockley, MA, has spent 25 years working with adolescents, teens, young adults, parents, and families helping them navigate the challenges of daily life. Using her years of experience and training, Angie provides coaching, education, consulting, and alternative healing services for individuals and groups. She has studied Shamanic and Energetic Healing modalities under Berta Khunel of Balanced Horizons and is a Certified Shamanic Practitioner. Angie also utilizes the healing benefits of Reiki in her work. She is available for face to face sessions as well as distance work via phone.
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